*personal note: I share these regularly on Facebook, documenting the fact that through no choice of my own, I am waking up earlier in the day then I have previously. Several have asked, since they are "learnings", why I don't share these on LinkedIn and on my blog. Since they involve my personal self, I have tended not to, but have decided to give it a try. Feedback accepted!
Early Reflections: Sunday, September 8th
So something clicked yesterday. Smaller in nature, and could go slightly unnoticed. But I noticed that I have been allowing myself to fall back into a pattern, or what you might call "a rut". It happens. I also realized that from a few different perspectives, others may be using me as an excuse to not step out and feel comfortable making their own decisions, while accepting responsibility at the same time for what they decide. I think to some degree, many of us find ourselves in that position from time to time, not realizing how much energy it can suck away.
I will use two relatively benign examples....
I like the beach. Yesterday morning, after only a few hours of sleep, I wanted to walk the beach after the storm, like I would have done with my grandfather. There were many excuses I started throwing up, but decided F*CK IT! So, at 7:00am, I grabbed my coffee and went to our local beach as it is only eight miles away. My family sleeps late, so....just go already. I had planned on drinking my coffee, a quick walk, and back home before anyone woke up. Instead, I was there for close to three hours. I walked. I read. I watched the surfers. I marveled at the sunrise and reflected as the sun came up. And it felt good. Really damn good, like before the day started, I had already accomplished something meaningful.
Later that day, being a beautiful day I would add, I tried all that I could to get my daughter to go somewhere with me, even if it was just to kick the soccer ball. Some days we are content just to let her stay upstairs, on her iPad or playing a game, today I wanted her to get fresh air, interaction. No, nope, no way. But eventually, in her "beat around the bush" way, she said she really wanted to do something with a friend, and would I be mad, but maybe could she....the point was she wanted to go ice skating that night but was using what she thought I might say or how I may react as an excuse.
So we went....
Now, the truth? I had other plans. Sitting at a rink for two hours wasn't part of them. And if I am honest, perhaps I would have reacted in the way that she imagined. I have to accept that in hindsight, I may have been throwing up obstacles without appreciating it. But we did go, and while I pretended to try and get some work done, I watched as she laughed, and skated, and made new friends, and enjoyed herself, doing something that earlier she didn't think she could have done, using my potential reaction as an obstacle.
Driving home, she was tired, she was....happy. She is a freakin' teenager, but yeah, I will say happy. And during our "conversation" heading home (SHE IS A TEENAGER), we talked about how she has to try to not place obstacles in her way that don't belong there. Maybe I or her mom would have said yes, maybe no, but if I hadn't have pushed...last night would have been a rut for her as well. Instead, my bet is that she went to bed happy, slept better.
Now I am ready for a the new day ahead of me....