The Reflection on a Crappy Week
It’s Sunday evening again, but this one feels different. Not in the usual "Sunday Scaries" way, where a creeping anxiety starts as the day winds down. No, this week, I've already had my share of dread - and it came early, on Friday.
Friday is typically one of my better days - a chance to wrap things up, to feel that brief, satisfying click of the week coming to a close. But this past Friday was different. It sucked. So much so that when I finally got home, I went straight to bed without supper. That used to be a punishment when I was a kid, but this time, it felt like a choice - a surrender.
And I wasn’t the only one. My wife had a rough week, too, with her Friday going no better. When I came home and announced I was going straight to bed, she didn’t argue. In fact, she was supportive. I think she felt it too - the collective weight of a crappy week, like the air pressure had dropped, and all we could do was wait for the storm to pass.
My daughter had her own version of a bad week, capped by a particularly difficult Friday. I know this because, when I woke up around 10 PM, a tad bit hungry and out of sorts, I saw a text from her. That led to a series of texts, then a call, and soon we were deep in conversation for the better part of an hour. It was cathartic, really - a chance to unpack our frustrations together, late on a Friday night, when most people are out having fun or winding down their week.
And this is supposed to be the "Sunday Scaries!" But it got me thinking about something I’ve been reflecting on a lot lately: the need to "break the algorithm."
Breaking the Life Algorithm
We hear a lot about algorithms in the context of social media. You know how it goes: someone complains, “All I see on my feed are negative posts,” and you don’t really want to tell them, “Well, it’s because that’s what you interact with the most.” Algorithms serve up what we engage with, whether we realize it or not.
Life works the same way. We get stuck in routines and patterns - drinking too much coffee, not drinking enough water, neglecting exercise, focusing on negative thoughts. Even when we know these habits aren’t good for us, we get trapped in the cycle, endlessly "scrolling" through the same daily motions. And sometimes, the only way to break free is to disrupt that cycle intentionally.
Friday may have been rough, but I knew that there were bright spots, too. Moments I overlooked in my focus on the negative. If I step back and take in the full picture, I’m incredibly lucky - blessed with a supportive family, health, a fulfilling career, and the opportunity to teach. But I was choosing to focus on what went wrong instead of what went right.
It's a common human condition. We pay more attention to our failures than our successes. We dwell on the negative people in our lives instead of investing in the positive ones. And sometimes, we are our own worst enemies, reinforcing the same negative patterns.
A Moment of Breakthrough
Late on Friday night, almost Saturday morning, my daughter decided she wanted some "mom and dad time." I was ready to jump in the car and make the four hour drive, but instead, I suggested, "Why not take the train home tomorrow?" Something she had never done, as it isn't ultra-convenient. But to my surprise, she said "sure."
I mapped out her route and booked her ticket before I finally went to sleep. She woke up early, threw a couple of things in a bag while I arranged an Uber to the train station 15 miles away, and by Saturday afternoon, she was standing in front of us at the train station here. Her mom had tears of joy in her eyes, maybe because we neglected to tell her - we wanted it to be a surprise. So much so that we were texted back and forth while she was on the train crafting our plan. It was - fun! The evening was spent catching up on Korean dramas.
This morning, she woke up - mom made pancakes - and she took the train back to school, but instead of the $30 Uber, she opted for the $3 bus from the train station back to campus, wanting to explore something new, to see if she could navigate this different path, save a bit of money. Talk about breaking routines.
Now, as Sunday night settles in, she’s back at her dorm. My wife is curled up in the living room with a book, and I’m sitting on the back porch, eating some “whatever-is-left-in-the-fridge-from-last-week” fried rice, enjoying the cool night air, and writing this all down. I’m in a better mood this Sunday night than I was just 48 hours ago.
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